i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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