You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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