my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
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How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
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My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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