i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
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there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
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I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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