420 ftw
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
honey bunches of taint.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
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She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
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No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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