Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize