I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
You left your phone here
Wait...
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