she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize