I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize