That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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