just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize