don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
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