i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize