my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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