3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize