I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Randomize