By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize