I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
thus making me awesome and them whores
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize