And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
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This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
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