Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
she smelled like a LAN party
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize