May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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