We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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