I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
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