I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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