I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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