Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
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