I wanna passion pit in your ass
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize