Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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