p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize