Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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