I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
We are two peas in an std pod
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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