forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
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