dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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