in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
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