I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
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