How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Randomize