The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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