have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
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he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
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I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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