if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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