It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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