Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Randomize