she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
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pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
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My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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