he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize