You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize