I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Shame is for Republicans.
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