don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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