I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
ttyl tear gas
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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