how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize