I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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