I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize